This is wut all the fussin' is 'bout

Ok, so pretty much NO ONE knows this exists yet..cuz i kinda just made it. Im tryin' to figure out what all the fuss is about. Lol, guess i know now, huh? Lol. This seems pretty cool. Ok so, Chris was supposed to visit megan today..i DO hope he kept his promise to her..for once! I know he loves her, like a big brother should and in all the ways he can, but...idk...he could at least stop by or call every once and again. Maybe he'll grow up someday. Haha, doubt it, but it's a wishful thought. Hmm..sometimes i'm glad i dont have a big brother, cuz i'm pretty sure he'd be wanted for murder cuz of some of the things that've happened in the past year...but yet...idk i still wish i had one, i mean i have guy friends who could pass for a big brother the way they take care of me..funny thing is-they're the same ones who've used me so many times....screwed me over and left me when i needed them most and they KNEW it! That's what really gets me-the very ones who look after me down here, are the very ones who hurt me most sometimes. *Shakes head*...i duno 'bout them boys...they're ok for friends, but anything more and i'm pretty sure they're NOT worth time. All they want is one thing, once they get close to it, or if you dont give it to them they leave. Weird, how that works-girl (that's me) has pretty much all guy friends, but girl thinks all guys aren't worth jack crap...hmm...odd. Haha, guess i need to get my head checked. But yet my friends..a couple of them, ok actually one of them more than any of the others, just use me when he needs his "fix" then we dont talk for a while, then one day we're close as friends get then after a while....and i'm the dummy who does it every time. I dont hesitate...and i do it. I dont get hurt cuz i know it's just he needs a girl and i happen to be one and he doesn't want anything like a serisous relationship out of me, i know this so i dont get hurt. But in the back of my mind i wonder...is there just ONE guy who is different?....Sometimes i get to know a guy and i think, "O he might be different" but then we get talkin' naw..he the same as every other guy out there..all he cares about is if the girl has an hour glass figure and a pretty face, and how long til he can get in her little jeans. So..pretty much i dont want a boyfriend-ever, and i'm glad that i'm seen as just "one of us" (the guys...uh only without the dick..haha)